I have been meaning to write. I swear I have. I just logged in and realised that,well, it's been a full year without posts. One year and three days to be precise. Even better? My last post was a promise to post more.
This one is not a promise to post more - I know better than to say that I will. I will continue to post as the mood strikes, but I am now hopeful that the mood will strike more often. This may seem unlikely given I am busier than ever with coursework, church, marriage, friends and all of that, but I also have a lot more energy and focus. I have learned that I have at the very least a gluten intolerance, and at the most, Celiac's disease. I will go in for further testing soon, after a two week period of self-torture in which I eat gluten again. Even if the test for Celiac's is negative though, I am sticking with my gluten free diet which seems to leave me will a whole host of benefits, not the least of which is energy to be awake more than ten hours a day, and productive a good lot of it.
I have completed one semester at seminary, and it has been the most wonderful experience. Don't get me wrong. This is a Master's degree. It's tough. The expectations and the workload are high, but at the same time, I am enjoying it. Admittedly, this semester has not gotten off to quite as delightfully organised a start as the last one, but I am going to blame that on medical tests and the like. I've spent more time learning about my own body and health (rather than simply trying to care for it) than I did last semester, and my time management has adjusted itself around that, and not in productive ways.
Tonight I still need to read more for school, work on a couple of journal entries for one course, a poetic analysis for another, and maybe even get some reading done for a Book Club I will be hosting starting February 7th. fortunately, I still have time.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Trying...
Wow, I haven't posted anything since April 2010. I suck at this. This is my (slightly insane) attempt to kick start the blogging again, and not let it be an entire year between posts.
I suppose I should start with a very short explanation of vicious cycles, at least they apply to my writing. The truth is, I just haven't felt inspired to write, and a lack of writing leaves me even less inspired to sit down and write. Have I done things worthy of writing about? Absolutely. I have read fascinating books, like The Forgotten Garden and The Namesake (yes, I'm a little behind the times on the latter one.) I have been knitting some really neat projects, like mesh grocery bags made with beautiful bamboo ribbon yarn, and scarves and mittens (I'm about to start my first ever set of gloves.) I have traveled a bit, at least back to Edmonton, and out to Montreal. I have a new nephew! I have all of these wonderful and potentially interesting things to write about, but I just haven't. And the more time passes, the less I feel inclined/remember to sit down and write.
So why have I felt so ridiculously uninspired? There are huge things in my life (time wise) that have been slowly eating away at me. I have an easy job. Too easy. Very boring. Very micro-managed. The longer I plug away at it, the more burnt out I feel, not because of overwork, but because of a complete lack of stimulation. Seriously, for the last week, I've been coming home, sitting by the fireplace, and watching all five seasons of Stargate: Atlantis back-to-back because I haven't had the energy to do much else except the occasional yoga class. I have been getting sick... a lot, and I strongly suspect its largely psychosomatic, and due to my sheer not-wanting-go-to-work-ness. Also, feeling rundown and burnt out mentally leading to feeling rundown and burnt out physically.
And for the big question: what am I going to do about it? Well, the good news is that it looks like it will only be until September, all things working out as hoped/planned. I only have to get through eight months, and then reboot. So eight months, huh? That's eight months of trying something I don't usually do. Eight months of paying attention to the things that actually make me happy, and provide me with the energy to do more during my off hours than blerg on a couch, and oversleep. So far, that's involved a lot of science fiction, knitting, reading, and walking. So far, it seems to be starting to work.
I suppose I should start with a very short explanation of vicious cycles, at least they apply to my writing. The truth is, I just haven't felt inspired to write, and a lack of writing leaves me even less inspired to sit down and write. Have I done things worthy of writing about? Absolutely. I have read fascinating books, like The Forgotten Garden and The Namesake (yes, I'm a little behind the times on the latter one.) I have been knitting some really neat projects, like mesh grocery bags made with beautiful bamboo ribbon yarn, and scarves and mittens (I'm about to start my first ever set of gloves.) I have traveled a bit, at least back to Edmonton, and out to Montreal. I have a new nephew! I have all of these wonderful and potentially interesting things to write about, but I just haven't. And the more time passes, the less I feel inclined/remember to sit down and write.
So why have I felt so ridiculously uninspired? There are huge things in my life (time wise) that have been slowly eating away at me. I have an easy job. Too easy. Very boring. Very micro-managed. The longer I plug away at it, the more burnt out I feel, not because of overwork, but because of a complete lack of stimulation. Seriously, for the last week, I've been coming home, sitting by the fireplace, and watching all five seasons of Stargate: Atlantis back-to-back because I haven't had the energy to do much else except the occasional yoga class. I have been getting sick... a lot, and I strongly suspect its largely psychosomatic, and due to my sheer not-wanting-go-to-work-ness. Also, feeling rundown and burnt out mentally leading to feeling rundown and burnt out physically.
And for the big question: what am I going to do about it? Well, the good news is that it looks like it will only be until September, all things working out as hoped/planned. I only have to get through eight months, and then reboot. So eight months, huh? That's eight months of trying something I don't usually do. Eight months of paying attention to the things that actually make me happy, and provide me with the energy to do more during my off hours than blerg on a couch, and oversleep. So far, that's involved a lot of science fiction, knitting, reading, and walking. So far, it seems to be starting to work.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Changes
Be forewarned: This post contains much discussion of clothing, and then some more neutral discussion at the bottom, after the cotton, linen and lace.
My husband and I agreed to go out for a nice dinner in celebration of the end of his assignments, all nicely handed in, and the acquisition, on both our parts, of jobs. He is working as a research assistant to an Aboriginal Law professor over the summer, turning a 17th century French-Ojibwe dictionary into a searchable database. I am working (as of Friday) as an admin assistant in a property management firm. I'll be honest, my job doesn't sound that interesting, but well, not only is it employment, but frankly, I have to agree with my minister, what I need right now is just another job, something I can go to, come home from and forget about, while sorting out everything else. Hey, I'm now employed!
Anyhow, back to dinner. We decided to go to Tojo's, the finest sushi restaurant in Vancouver, bar none. Tojo himself is phenomenal, but it's not something we can generally afford, but this, this was an occasion worthy of Tojo's. I dressed up in what I thought was a pretty, floral surplice dress with spaghetti straps, did my hair and makeup nicely, and put on a pair of heels. We met at the restaurant, being between home and the university, and well, the look on his face when he arrived... He was horrified. I was promptly informed that I was never allowed to ever wear that dress again, despite the fact I used to get tons of complements in it, and that it looked like a sac.
I went to the bathroom and checked.
It really did.
I checked the tag.
Large.
It really did used to fit, but somewhere between moving from Edmonton, getting rid of the car in lieu of walking/biking/transit, better access to fresh vegetables and seafood, and good local bakeries within walking distance, and well having been stressed out for part of it, over the course of about 20 months, I went from a size 9 to a size 2/3. Yes, women-of-the-world, you are now officially allowed to hate me.
My husband told me to go get a new wardrobe, seriously, he did. The dress incident was the tipping point for him, and when the stereotypically oblivious man tells you that your clothing doesn't fit, it really doesn't fit. And since I was about to start a new job in an office, with room for promotion and the like, I needed to look good, or at least, better than bag-lady. So, after emptying my wardrobe of all the ill-fitting clothing I had, salvaging what I could (and dropping two full garbage bags of clothing off at the Salvation Army, about 60-70 % of my wardrobe actually), and keeping some of the better garments to take to a tailor, I went out to shop.
Day 1: Dear God, please for the love of kittens and all things cute and/or holy, kill me now.
My body has changed, has it ever changed. I've always has tits and an ass, but my waist used to be much bigger giving me a more rectangular look from the front, and well, I generally looked rather top-heavy (Thanks Mom!) I could wear a lot of the same styles as my mother did, since her body type was similar just bigger, which was always helpful when she took me clothing shopping, and I knew what did and didn't work. Make sure you buy a large top (at least) to contain the girls. Avoid things that cinch at the middle or that is close-fitting around the tummy unless it is very structured. Make sure your pants have plenty of stretch/leeway in the bottom region for that booty. Cover up! These are the rules I am used to.
My old measurements? 38-29-38, bra size 34F, yup, all the weight was in the front and in the trunk. My new measurements? 34-25.5-35, bra size 32DD.
So trying on all the things I was comfortable with, I was let down. It was baggy, it made me look bigger than I was, it just didn't have any wow factor. Over 6 hours later I had a pair of khakis, and 5 tops, some of which my hubby wasn't entirely thrilled with, but still thought were better than the old ones. The only real highlight of the day was getting the pair of red, kitten heeled Mary Janes that I'd been eying for a few months but couldn't justify 170 bucks on for $35. They rock.
Day 2: Dear God, thank you kindly for my new body and my outlook on clothes!
I only went out because I knew where I could find a blazer to make more casual-tops office-worthy. My husband and I disagree on whether or not women can get away with sleeveless in summer in a business-casual environment. He says absolutely not (even cap-sleeves are questionable). I say yes, but only if it is modest everywhere else, is in a more formal fit and fabric, and the associated bottoms and accessories are also a bit more formal.
So I went to a different Gap clothing store, since the one where I got the khakis the day before had black and khaki blazers in all sizes but mine. I had even tried both downtown locations actually. So... I went to Oakridge instead, and lo and behold, not only did they have exactly one of each blazer left (both at half price!) but they were both in my size, with the right stance and length for my body. So I turned around and looked at the rest of the sale rack. Plain coloured, wide-strapped tank tops for ten bucks a pop? I live in these things come summer. So I bought black, olive and bright blue, and would have gotten a white but alas, no smalls. Then, as I turned, the sales associate was just bringing out a rack of jeans from the back, also nicely discounted. So in one hour including transit time, I had three tops, two blazers and a pair of jeans that made my ass look just yummy. My hubby can't stop looking at it actually, and that's never a bad thing for a marriage.
I went home feeling a lot better and did a little online research. I am a small-medium framed hourglass figure, more specifically an S-shaped hourglass. I found all kinds of tips and tricks on how to dress myself, and well, how not to dress myself.
Next stop? All the way down the B-Line and onto the Skytrain to go to Metrotown and a store that has never failed me in the past - Smart Set. Seriously, half the time I wonder why I shop elsewhere. Classic cuts and colours mixed with some trendy items, which is largely the style I like to have. And it didn't disappoint. They had plenty of spring and summer weight blouses that were tailored to fit my waist and curves, had enough fabric in the cleavage area to be appropriate and not slutty (made significantly easier by the fact I've dropped two cup sizes so I'm now in the region clothes makers aim for). I tried on all kinds of styles I'd never have thought to before, even colours I've never had (like coral) and it turns out, in the right clothing, man I look good.
I found pants that fit, finally a plain black belt (which is ahrder to locate than you'd think since everyone apparently makes funky/trendy ones instead), and even a bright red dress that hangs just perfectly and cinches right at the narrowest part of my body, and can be dressed up for work with a blazer, or worn with sandals on it's own in summer. I grabbed a few cheap pieces of jewelry to tie the looks together, thought about what will go with the scarves and accessories I have at home, and ended up with an actual workable wardrobe.
And I went home, exhausted, feet aching, but clothed.
So now, here I am. My old ill-fitting, pilled, worn-out hems, and generally just baggy clothing, gone. My ill-fitting academic program with no passion or interest really left, also gone. And finally, my period of unemployment coming to a close.
Instead I have a wardrobe filled with bright colours, black and white, structured clothing that looks sharp. I am beginning a class at church tomorrow evening, studying Marcus Borg's Jesus, as well as being in the choir and on a committee working to administer a year-long hymn-writing competition that is reflective of the progressive theology of the modern UCC. I begin working once more on Friday, at what promises to be a rather boring job (at least at first until I get new tasks), but which is a job that can keep me busy during the day and which I do not have to take home afterward, but can instead leave behind so I can concentrate on the things that really matter.
I had a bit of a makeover, but it's turned rather into an entire life-over, or rather seems to have come at what I can only hope is the end of one. I think I'm done with complete and utter upheaval for a little while, and am ready to start anew. I know this entire post may seem vain, materialistic even, but the reality for me has been a bit more profound. Day one, kill me now. Day two, I can do this, this change is good.
And in my life with all the ups and downs and the absolutely mindboggling breadth of change that I have experienced in the last 6 months, gone is the feeling of being completely overwhelmed and unsure even where to begin pulling myself out of it.
I can do this. This change is good.
My husband and I agreed to go out for a nice dinner in celebration of the end of his assignments, all nicely handed in, and the acquisition, on both our parts, of jobs. He is working as a research assistant to an Aboriginal Law professor over the summer, turning a 17th century French-Ojibwe dictionary into a searchable database. I am working (as of Friday) as an admin assistant in a property management firm. I'll be honest, my job doesn't sound that interesting, but well, not only is it employment, but frankly, I have to agree with my minister, what I need right now is just another job, something I can go to, come home from and forget about, while sorting out everything else. Hey, I'm now employed!
Anyhow, back to dinner. We decided to go to Tojo's, the finest sushi restaurant in Vancouver, bar none. Tojo himself is phenomenal, but it's not something we can generally afford, but this, this was an occasion worthy of Tojo's. I dressed up in what I thought was a pretty, floral surplice dress with spaghetti straps, did my hair and makeup nicely, and put on a pair of heels. We met at the restaurant, being between home and the university, and well, the look on his face when he arrived... He was horrified. I was promptly informed that I was never allowed to ever wear that dress again, despite the fact I used to get tons of complements in it, and that it looked like a sac.
I went to the bathroom and checked.
It really did.
I checked the tag.
Large.
It really did used to fit, but somewhere between moving from Edmonton, getting rid of the car in lieu of walking/biking/transit, better access to fresh vegetables and seafood, and good local bakeries within walking distance, and well having been stressed out for part of it, over the course of about 20 months, I went from a size 9 to a size 2/3. Yes, women-of-the-world, you are now officially allowed to hate me.
My husband told me to go get a new wardrobe, seriously, he did. The dress incident was the tipping point for him, and when the stereotypically oblivious man tells you that your clothing doesn't fit, it really doesn't fit. And since I was about to start a new job in an office, with room for promotion and the like, I needed to look good, or at least, better than bag-lady. So, after emptying my wardrobe of all the ill-fitting clothing I had, salvaging what I could (and dropping two full garbage bags of clothing off at the Salvation Army, about 60-70 % of my wardrobe actually), and keeping some of the better garments to take to a tailor, I went out to shop.
Day 1: Dear God, please for the love of kittens and all things cute and/or holy, kill me now.
My body has changed, has it ever changed. I've always has tits and an ass, but my waist used to be much bigger giving me a more rectangular look from the front, and well, I generally looked rather top-heavy (Thanks Mom!) I could wear a lot of the same styles as my mother did, since her body type was similar just bigger, which was always helpful when she took me clothing shopping, and I knew what did and didn't work. Make sure you buy a large top (at least) to contain the girls. Avoid things that cinch at the middle or that is close-fitting around the tummy unless it is very structured. Make sure your pants have plenty of stretch/leeway in the bottom region for that booty. Cover up! These are the rules I am used to.
My old measurements? 38-29-38, bra size 34F, yup, all the weight was in the front and in the trunk. My new measurements? 34-25.5-35, bra size 32DD.
So trying on all the things I was comfortable with, I was let down. It was baggy, it made me look bigger than I was, it just didn't have any wow factor. Over 6 hours later I had a pair of khakis, and 5 tops, some of which my hubby wasn't entirely thrilled with, but still thought were better than the old ones. The only real highlight of the day was getting the pair of red, kitten heeled Mary Janes that I'd been eying for a few months but couldn't justify 170 bucks on for $35. They rock.
Day 2: Dear God, thank you kindly for my new body and my outlook on clothes!
I only went out because I knew where I could find a blazer to make more casual-tops office-worthy. My husband and I disagree on whether or not women can get away with sleeveless in summer in a business-casual environment. He says absolutely not (even cap-sleeves are questionable). I say yes, but only if it is modest everywhere else, is in a more formal fit and fabric, and the associated bottoms and accessories are also a bit more formal.
So I went to a different Gap clothing store, since the one where I got the khakis the day before had black and khaki blazers in all sizes but mine. I had even tried both downtown locations actually. So... I went to Oakridge instead, and lo and behold, not only did they have exactly one of each blazer left (both at half price!) but they were both in my size, with the right stance and length for my body. So I turned around and looked at the rest of the sale rack. Plain coloured, wide-strapped tank tops for ten bucks a pop? I live in these things come summer. So I bought black, olive and bright blue, and would have gotten a white but alas, no smalls. Then, as I turned, the sales associate was just bringing out a rack of jeans from the back, also nicely discounted. So in one hour including transit time, I had three tops, two blazers and a pair of jeans that made my ass look just yummy. My hubby can't stop looking at it actually, and that's never a bad thing for a marriage.
I went home feeling a lot better and did a little online research. I am a small-medium framed hourglass figure, more specifically an S-shaped hourglass. I found all kinds of tips and tricks on how to dress myself, and well, how not to dress myself.
Next stop? All the way down the B-Line and onto the Skytrain to go to Metrotown and a store that has never failed me in the past - Smart Set. Seriously, half the time I wonder why I shop elsewhere. Classic cuts and colours mixed with some trendy items, which is largely the style I like to have. And it didn't disappoint. They had plenty of spring and summer weight blouses that were tailored to fit my waist and curves, had enough fabric in the cleavage area to be appropriate and not slutty (made significantly easier by the fact I've dropped two cup sizes so I'm now in the region clothes makers aim for). I tried on all kinds of styles I'd never have thought to before, even colours I've never had (like coral) and it turns out, in the right clothing, man I look good.
I found pants that fit, finally a plain black belt (which is ahrder to locate than you'd think since everyone apparently makes funky/trendy ones instead), and even a bright red dress that hangs just perfectly and cinches right at the narrowest part of my body, and can be dressed up for work with a blazer, or worn with sandals on it's own in summer. I grabbed a few cheap pieces of jewelry to tie the looks together, thought about what will go with the scarves and accessories I have at home, and ended up with an actual workable wardrobe.
And I went home, exhausted, feet aching, but clothed.
So now, here I am. My old ill-fitting, pilled, worn-out hems, and generally just baggy clothing, gone. My ill-fitting academic program with no passion or interest really left, also gone. And finally, my period of unemployment coming to a close.
Instead I have a wardrobe filled with bright colours, black and white, structured clothing that looks sharp. I am beginning a class at church tomorrow evening, studying Marcus Borg's Jesus, as well as being in the choir and on a committee working to administer a year-long hymn-writing competition that is reflective of the progressive theology of the modern UCC. I begin working once more on Friday, at what promises to be a rather boring job (at least at first until I get new tasks), but which is a job that can keep me busy during the day and which I do not have to take home afterward, but can instead leave behind so I can concentrate on the things that really matter.
I had a bit of a makeover, but it's turned rather into an entire life-over, or rather seems to have come at what I can only hope is the end of one. I think I'm done with complete and utter upheaval for a little while, and am ready to start anew. I know this entire post may seem vain, materialistic even, but the reality for me has been a bit more profound. Day one, kill me now. Day two, I can do this, this change is good.
And in my life with all the ups and downs and the absolutely mindboggling breadth of change that I have experienced in the last 6 months, gone is the feeling of being completely overwhelmed and unsure even where to begin pulling myself out of it.
I can do this. This change is good.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Looking For Suggestions...
For ways to green up my lifestyle.
I am trying to incrementally improve my lifestyle and decrease my impact on the environment. I'm actually doing pretty well and generally feel relatively good about this area of my life, but I know I can do better, and not in an obsessive-compulsive kind of way. I want to be green, but not insane, sorry to disappoint anyone about to propose moving to an eco-hut outside the city and living like a hermit with no footprint at all on a perfectly self-sufficient mini-farm.
I try to give myself mini-goals, and incorporate some new tip or trick I have run across once a week or every couple of days depending on what it is and well, what it costs.
This week for instance I started turning off the power bars attached to my computers and television when not in use, and stopped brushing my teeth in the shower (it takes too long and uses up more water.) So any resources, hints or tips would be much appreciated, and I will mention any interesting ones I run across.
I am trying to incrementally improve my lifestyle and decrease my impact on the environment. I'm actually doing pretty well and generally feel relatively good about this area of my life, but I know I can do better, and not in an obsessive-compulsive kind of way. I want to be green, but not insane, sorry to disappoint anyone about to propose moving to an eco-hut outside the city and living like a hermit with no footprint at all on a perfectly self-sufficient mini-farm.
I try to give myself mini-goals, and incorporate some new tip or trick I have run across once a week or every couple of days depending on what it is and well, what it costs.
This week for instance I started turning off the power bars attached to my computers and television when not in use, and stopped brushing my teeth in the shower (it takes too long and uses up more water.) So any resources, hints or tips would be much appreciated, and I will mention any interesting ones I run across.
Far from the Maddening Crowd
So it's Olympic time here in Vancouver, and for the most part, I'm avoiding a lot of it. The truth is, I am working at one of the pavilions (Russia House to be precise) most nights, catering to their guests and athletes, and that is almost enough for me. I actually wish I had not accepted this job, but well, I could use the dough. The problem is that working every night makes me not want to go to the other events, or means I'm too busy to go to the free concerts or too tired to get up and go to say, Granville Island.
The whole world is in my city, and I'm living behind my computer, and curled into my bed with a kitty cat.
I could be spending time with my sister-in-law and her boyfriend while they are in town to catch some events. I could have been volunteering at my church where they are opening the doors of that beautiful building and inviting in tourists and locals alike. I could be volunteering with one of the environmentalist groups who are helping with cleanup and spreading the world about simple every-day changes that can be made in people's lives (that make a huge impact too!) I could well, just be going out and enjoying the free events, and learning about other countries and trying all the various foods! Instead, I work 6PM until 2AM most nights, and am not even awake the next day until noon.
Ah well. Maybe, just maybe I'll drag myself out of bed and try to catch something on my next day off.
The whole world is in my city, and I'm living behind my computer, and curled into my bed with a kitty cat.
I could be spending time with my sister-in-law and her boyfriend while they are in town to catch some events. I could have been volunteering at my church where they are opening the doors of that beautiful building and inviting in tourists and locals alike. I could be volunteering with one of the environmentalist groups who are helping with cleanup and spreading the world about simple every-day changes that can be made in people's lives (that make a huge impact too!) I could well, just be going out and enjoying the free events, and learning about other countries and trying all the various foods! Instead, I work 6PM until 2AM most nights, and am not even awake the next day until noon.
Ah well. Maybe, just maybe I'll drag myself out of bed and try to catch something on my next day off.
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